Written by Umm Yusuf
1. Taking Ramadaan as a ritual: For many of us Ramadaan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting too. We forget that its a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil. We forget to make dua, forget to beseech Allaah to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Fire. Sure we stay away from food and drink but that’s about all.
Although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Jibreel said to me, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadaan comes and his sins are not forgiven,’ and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you,’ and I said, ‘Ameen.’” (Tirmidhi)
2. Too much stress on food and drink: For some people, the entire month of Ramadaan revolves around food. They spend the ENTIRE day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking about only food, instead of concentrating on Salaah, Quraan and other acts of worship. All they can think of is FOOD. So much so that they turn the month of ‘fasting’ into the month of ‘feasting’. Come Iftaar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks. They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. It is also a kind of waste & extravagance.
“…..and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance) ” [al-Araaf :31]
3. Spending all day cooking: Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking ALL day and ALL night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read Quraan. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan!
4. Eating too much: Some people stuff themselves at Suhoor until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to ‘make up for the food missed.’ However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.” (Tirmidhi).
Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless.
It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.
5. Sleeping all day: Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) ‘sleeping away their fast’. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people also are missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot ‘bear’ to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but, negligence on his part.
6. Wasting time: The month of Ramadaan is a precious, precious time, so much so that Allaah calls this month “Ayyamum Ma’doodaat” (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allaah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music. Subhaan Allaah! Trying to obey Allaah by DISOBEYING him!
7. Fasting but not giving up evil: Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam, buying lotto tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah.
“O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)” [al-Baqarah 2:183]
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.” (Bukhaari)
8. Skipping Suhoor: The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing.”(Bukhaari, Muslim).
And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The thing that differentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor.” (Muslim)
9. Not fasting if they missed Suhoor: Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Suhoor. However, this is a kind of cowardice and love of ease. What is the big deal if you missed a few morsels of food? It’s not like you will die. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything.
10. Delaying breaking fast: Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be ‘on the safe side’. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to break the fast, which means breaking fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set. Aa’ishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do. (Muslim)
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to break the fast.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)
Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul on Allaah and break your fast exactly on time.
11. Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up: Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss Maghrib. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish.
12. Missing the golden chance of having your Dua accepted :The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the time of breaking fast.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.” (Tirmidhi).
Instead of sitting down and making Dua at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it….Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your Duas.
13. Fasting but not praying : The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.” (Muslim)
In fact, NONE of his good deeds will be accepted; rather, they are all annulled.
“Whoever does not pray ‘Asr, his good deeds will be annulled.” (Bukhaari)
14. Not fasting because of exams or work: Exams or work is NOT one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do that during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than ‘good grades’. Besides, if you will fulfil your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make it easy for you and help you in everything you do.
“Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him.” (Surah at-Talaaq 2-3)
15. Mixing fasting and dieting: DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (esp. sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah alone. Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk.
16. Wasting the last part of Ramadaan preparing for Eid: Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadaan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. although, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to strive the hardest during the last ten days of Ramadaan in worship (Ahmad, Muslim) and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadaan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadaan to the max.
Aa’ishah (RA) said: “When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family.” (Bukhaari and Muslim).
17. Iftaar parties: Although inviting each other for breaking fast is something good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish ‘Iftaar parties’ with all sorts of disobedience to Allaah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women, to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing.
Children (who did not reach puberty) are not commanded to fast. However, their parents or guardians are strongly recommended to encourage them to fast few days so that they get used to it and they grow up knowing of the worship of fasting as they would know that of praying. In fact this was the practise of the first women of Islam who were living around the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam. An example of that is ar-Rubayya’ bint Mu’awiyyah who reported that: “The Messenger of Allah,salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, sent a man on the morning of the day of ‘Ashurah, to the residences of the Ansar, saying: ‘Whoever has spent the morning fasting is to complete his fast. Whoever has not spent this morning fasting should voluntary fast for the remainder of the day.’ We fasted after that announcement, as did our young children. We would go to the mosque and make toys stuffed with cotton for them to play with. If one of them started crying due to hunger, we would give them a toy to play with until it was time to eat.” [al-Bukhari and Muslim.]
Dear sisters and brothers remember that among the seven that Allah will shade under His shade onthe Day of Judgement is a young man who grew up in the worship of Allah. Therefore let your children be one of these.
There are many ways to educate your children about Ramadan, the best and most important of which is to set the good example by fasting properly and behaving according to the Prophetic teachings. This is what your children will take from you first. When you are fulfilling this you can very easily [and they will accept it and practise it easilly as well] teach them what you want. Here are few tips that you can use with your children [you can think of others as well]:
* Depending on their age encourage them to fast a number of days upto every other day or more for those who are almost at the age of puberty. For those who are still young let them fast a day or two and praise them in front of friends and relatives for their achivement.
* Let your children go with their father to the Masjid for Maghrib prayer and break the fast with the larger Muslim community to make them feel the gretness of fasting and the unity of Muslims in worshipping Allah.
* If your children cannot fast let them eat with you at the time of Maghrib and teach them that you are breaking the fast even if they ate before.
* Teach your children the supplication of breaking the fast
* Take your children to the Taraweeh prayer so that they get used it and know about it from their early age. They may sit or stay in the back of the prayer room if they get tired.
* Teach them to give charity. Do it in front of them and tell them you are doing it because the reward increases in Ramadan.
* Teach them to recite Qur’an regularily and inform them that the Prophet (S) used to do that in Ramadan.
* Correct them if they behave wrongly or say unaccaptable words and remind them that they are fasting ot they are in Ramadan and this may alter their reward.
* Wake them up for Suhoor [even if they don't fast] and Fajr prayer.
* Teach them to feed the people fasting and tell them about the reward for that.
* Dress them in the best clothes, give them a bath and take them with you to the Eid Prayer. Teach them that this is our feast and celebration and that christmas, easter, thanksgiving and other holidays are not ours. Stress the distinction.
It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust. MUSLIM
[Posted by Shayistha Abdulla]
Written by Shayistha Abdulla
Ramadaan is one of the twelve Arabic months. It is a month which is venerated in the Islaamic religion, and it is distinguished from the other months by a number of characteristics and virtues, including the following:
1 – Allaah has made fasting this month the fourth pillar of Islaam, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “The month of Ramadhaan in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadhaan i.e. is present at his home), he must observe Sawm (fasts) that month…”[al-Baqarah 2:185]
Prophet sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “Islaam is built on five (pillars): the testimony that there is no god except Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah; establishing; paying zakaah; fasting Ramadaan; and Hajj to the House (the a’bah).” Bukhari
2 – Allaah revealed the Qur’an in this month, as He says in the verse quoted above (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, We have sent it (this Qur’an) down in the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree).”[al-Qadr 97:1]
3 – Allaah has made Laylat al-Qadr in this month, which is better than a thousand months, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, We have sent it (this Qur’an) down in the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree).And what will make you know what the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is?The Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is better than a thousand months (i.e. worshipping Allaah in that night is better than worshipping Him a thousand months, i.e. 83 years and 4 months). Therein descend the angels and the Rooh [Jibreel (Gabriel)] by Allaah’s Permission with all Decrees, (All that night), there is peace (and goodness from Allaah to His believing slaves) until the appearance of dawn” [al-Qadar 97:1-5]
“We sent it (this Qur’an) down on a blessed night [(i.e. the Night of Al-Qadr) in the month of Ramadhaan — the 9th month of the Islaamic calendar]. Verily, We are ever warning [mankind that Our Torment will reach those who disbelieve in Our Oneness of Lordship and in Our Oneness of worship]” [al-Dukhaan 44:3]
And Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “Whoever spends Laylat al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and in the hope of reward, will be forgiven his previous sins.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
4 – In this month, Allaah opens the gates of Paradise and closes the gates of Hell, and chains up the devils. Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “When Ramadaan comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and the devils are chained up.” Bukhari
5– Fasting Ramadaan is a means of expiation for the sins committed since the previous Ramadaan, so long as one avoids major sins. Prophet sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “The five daily prayers, from one Jumu’ah to the next and from one Ramadaan to the next are expiation for (sins committed) in between, so long as you avoid major sins.” Muslim
6– ‘Umrah in Ramadaan is equivalent to Hajj. The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam said to a woman among the Ansaar, “What kept you from doing Hajj with us?” She said, “We only had two camels that we used for bringing water.” So her husband and son had gone for Hajj on one camel, and he left the other for them to use for bringing water.” He said, “When Ramadaan comes, go for ‘Umrah, for ‘Umrah in Ramadaan is equivalent to Hajj.” Bukhari
7 – It is Sunnah to observe i’tikaaf (retreat for the purpose of worship) in Ramadaan, because the Prophet sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam always did that, as it was narrated in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam used to spend the last ten days of Ramadaan in i’tikaaf until he passed away, then his wives observed i’tikaaf after him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari.
8 – It is mustahabb in Ramadaan to offer iftaar to those who are fasting, because of the hadeeth of Zayd ibn Khaalid al-Juhani (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam: “Whoever gives iftaar to one who is fasting will have a reward like his, without that detracting from the fasting person’s reward in the slightest.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi.
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