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Unbridled Interaction of Men and Women: An Islamic Approach Mohammad Hasanul Karim The unbridled intermingling of men and women is most certainly prohibited in Islam. This is one of the causes of destruction of our Ummah . We should fear Allah (SWT) with regard to our daughters, sisters and wives. Allah (SWT) says: “ O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is human being and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern and severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded.”[ Tahrim: 6]
Privacy is prohibited even between the best and the most pious men and women, if they are not mahrem . These days the stimulants are many. Television, videocassettes, CDs, newspapers and magazines with vulgar pictures are full of obscenity. The things, which have become rife is the woman's entertaining her husband's friend when he is away, sitting with him, cutting jokes…. and what not? This type of practice is prohibited in Islam. Negligence and indulgence in this case is not permissible on the basis that the husband trusts his friend and his wife. The consequences of this are not good at all. No one except a person who is sick in his heart is pleased with them. Similarly it is not decent for a woman to go on her own on a long travel with the driver or the servant unless it is an emergency. So it is very unwise and also harmful that some people leave their wives or daughters alone with their drivers or servants. In addition to this, for the woman to see a male doctor alone is also improper. Because of his profession, the doctor may expose certain parts of her body and may exceed the normal limits, which may even lead to a haram act. We can also talk about family gatherings. Here women remain in the best of their beautification and adornment, drop the hijab on the basis that they are relatives. They mix freely with men and exchange of private matters takes place. This replaces the love between husband and wife with bitter feelings for each other. When the husband finds his wife kidding with his friend, he flies into rage and starts accusing her of infidelity. Very often, the family ends up in divorce. If it does not take place there remains confusion which shatters the family happiness.
Islam did not impose hijab on women except to protect her from exposure to indecency. So how can a man who is afraid of Allah (SWT) allow his wife or daughter to be alone with a strange ( gair mahrem ) person? Islam has prohibited fornication as well as all the avenues leading to it. Our Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said: “Both legal and illegal things are evident but in between them there are doubtful (suspicious) things and most of the people have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from these suspicious things saves his religion and his honor. And whoever indulges in these suspicious things is like a shepherd who grazes (his animals) near the Hima (private pasture) of someone else and at any moment he is liable to get in it. (O people!) Beware! Every king has a Hima and the Hima of Allah on this earth is His illegal (forbidden) things. Beware! There is a piece of a flesh in the body if it becomes good (reformed) the whole body becomes good if it gets spoilt the whole body gets spoilt and that is the heart.” [ bukhari Vol. 1 No. 49] Hasn't the time come for us to reduce, if not completely wipe out, these problems which are disgraceful and derogative to our Muslim Ummah?
The intermingling in education is no longer essential. In our day to day lives we notice the harms of our coeducation which in many cases undermine character and bring declination in education of many students. It is also scientifically established- Dr. Sabrina Rashid in an issue of The Daily Bangladesh Observer (14 th May, 1998) wrote: “Talking does not stop at talking. It starts in the beginning with study talk, than it goes step by step to more personal ones and finally, to emotional ones. It is because there is a surge of hormones through you, which is new for the body and the brain and therefore, has a new affect on your emotions setting them afire easily and quickly. This happens in case of the boys all the more. Because the girls are a bit cool, the boys are much more emotional. So the girls want to get the boys as friends, but the boys are likely to get emotionally involved”. So girls should take the initiative to maintain safe distance from boys. Their relation with the boys should be formal in any coeducational system if it prevails though it is recommended to abolish this system. Adolescent girls should be tutored by lady teachers and never by young boys. We have to establish schools, colleges and especially universities exclusively for girls as in no way we can stop the education of women. Seeking knowledge is the right of women just as it is the right of men. Our sisters can study in whatever sciences they wish so that they can contribute towards the building of a new, strong Muslim nation and this is of great significance.'
The intermingling at work place should be to that extent which circumstances and necessity make imperative. Certainly, women have the right to work. But this work of theirs must be within the boundaries of Islam. They must not be subjected to any immorality and prohibited privacy. Also we have to be careful so that we do not confine our wives, daughters and sisters within our homes. How nice it would be to see specialist lady doctors in all the fields of medical science so that the female patients need not go to male doctors!
Those parents who allow their daughters or sons to intermingle with their friends of opposite sex and send them to coeducatoinal institutes by claiming that they are matured enough to decide wrong from right are just placing a explosive next to a flaming fire claiming that no explosion will take place as there is a warning on the explosive that it is flammable. This sort of thinking is far from reality and is a denial to the nature of human being. I have seen some teachers who think that a boy and a girl make a good group for studying and working in the laboratory. Teachers should shun such harmful ideas. It kindles the fire of passion and immorality and as such should not be encouraged in any way.
Women should know that this type of intermingling does not establish any respect for them. In reality it is nothing but contempt and disgrace for them. Men look at them as they are a sort of recreation. Islam values women as they are ought to be valued. Islam teaches men to respect them as mothers, to care for them as daughters, to protect them as wives and to be kind to them as sisters. A man does not respect a woman who does not respect her virtue, does not safeguard her chastity rather exhibits herself as the woman of jahiliyah . This type of woman to a man is no more than a toy to be played around for marry making.
Allah (SWT) in Surah An-Nur in verses 30-31 epitomizes the Islamic position of modesty and decency. The verses state: "Tell (O Muhammad!) the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts; that is most pure for them. Verily Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And tell (O Muhammad!) the believing women to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts, and not to display their adornments, except that which ordinarily appears thereof, and to draw their headscarf ( khimar ) over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornments except to their own husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands' fathers, or their sons, or their husbands' sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hand possesses, or male servants free of physical desire, or small children who have no knowledge of the secrets of women. Let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they conceal of their hidden ornaments. And turn unto Allah altogether, O you Believers; in order that you may attain success."
Our prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said: “Beware of going to women.” A man from among the residents of Madinah asked: “ What if he is her brother in law?” Muhammad (SAWS) replied: “ The brother in law is death.” [Bukhari and Muslim]
All these were mentioned to eradicate obscenity. So let us respond to the divine call of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful, the owner of infinite knowledge, the Lord of the worlds and be successful on earth and in the hereafter. (Posted by rukaiah on Jan 27, 2001)
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