Abu Hurayrah, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, narrated that the Prophet, salla Allaahu 'alayhe wasallam, said: 'Exchange gifts, because gifts remove all ill feelings from the chest…' [At-Tirmizee].What better gift than conferring with your brother regarding some of his shortcomings or negligence in religious matters, that may not be apparent to him! 'Umar, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, once said: 'May Allaah bless whoever offers me my shortcomings!'

It is a Muslim's duty to make allowances for his brethren's shortcomings, forgive his misdeeds, accept his apology, avoid or discourage people's gossip about him, value his advice, accept his gifts, answer his invitation and love for him what he loves for himself.

Jareer, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, said: 'I made a pledge to the Prophet, salla Allaahu 'alayhe wasallam, that I would observe performing the salaat, pay the due zakaat and offer advice to every Muslim brother.' [Agreed Upon]

In the Qur'aan Allaah, subhanahu wata'aala, tells us about Banee Isra'eel who deserved Allaah's curse and punishment because they did not advise one another;

"Those among the Children of Isra'eel who disbelieved were cursed by the tongue of Dawood and 'Eesa, son of Maryam. That was because they disobeyed (Allaah and the Messengers) and were ever transgressing beyond bounds. They used not to forbid one another from Munkar (wrong-doing) which they committed. Vile indeed what they used to do."[ Al-Maa'idah: 78 - 79]

No nation will develop, in either its morals or conscience, till its people hold fast to the character of advising one another to do good and forbidding one another from munkar. When such morality is existent and practised among brothers, neighbours, family members, pupils and teachers, employers and employees, then, and only then will you see that human rights are preserved, good manners practised and more trust, bonding people together. There will be no betrayal, no cheating and no accusations.

Whoever comes to you with some of your shortcomings by way of advising you, accept their advice remembering that they care for you so that you may not indulge in a wrong-doing, keeping you away from whatever displeases Allaah. However, those who encourage you to transgress are indeed, those who do not wish you well and are not worthy of your friendship.

Prophet Mohammad, salla Allaahu 'alayhe wasallam, said: 'A Muslim is not a true believer until he loves for his Muslim brother what he loves for himself.' [Al-Bukhaaree]

Whoever refuses to take advice and to act upon it is like a sick person that refuses the doctor's prescription and follows what his mind tells him until he destroys himself.

When you read in the seerah of the pious Salaf, sahaabah, 'ulamaa and Khulafaa, you will find that the secret behind the everlasting glory they made, was due to their truthfulness, faithfulness, sense of responsibility towards others in terms of listening and advising them and their tolerance of constructive criticism. You will find that this Ummah established this glory not by the sword as much as by the good example, good manners and morals.

'Umar, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, once said: 'Oh People, listen and obey.' A man stood and said: 'no, by Allaah, we won't listen or obey you.' 'Umar asked for the reason and the man informed him that the people wanted an explanation as to the new clothes he was wearing, how he could afford them. 'Umar, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, did not get upset or annoyed but gave the people his account so that when they were satisfied the man said: 'now we are ready to listen, obey and follow you.'

No human being is infallible or exempt from diverting from the way of truth and justice from time to time. Every man may have some habits and desires that may drive him away from the path of truth and goodness;

"… and I free not myself from blame. Verily, the human self is inclined to evil, except when my Lord bestows His Mercy (Upon whom He wills)." [Yoosuf: 53]

Many people may not be aware of their faults or imperfections, therefore, they are in need of someone who can offer them sincere advice.

REQUIREMENTS OF ADVICE
Advice should comprise of two elements: Truthfulness and Ikhlaas (purifying one's intention). This means the adviser has to be sincere and with the good intention to correct a person and not intending to injure his feelings. If one gives advice and says the truth but his intention is not pure, then he is not considered as an adviser.

So that an advice serves the purpose, the following should be taken into account:

One should avoid jumping to conclusions about others doubting the sincerity of fellow Muslims and one should always think well of others. Allaah, subhanahu wata'aala, says:

"Oh you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are but sins" [Al-Hujuraat: 12]

He also says:

"… and verily, supposition is no substitute for the truth." [An-Najm: 28]

If you notice or hear something that can have two interpretations, always give the benefit of the doubt and think well of your brethren for this will strengthen brotherhood and is a sign of goodness.

The daughter of 'Abdullah Ibn Mu'tee once said to her husband, Talhah Ibn 'Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn 'Awf (who came from an honourable family and was one the most gracious people in his time); 'I have never seen such greedy a people as your brothers!' He said: 'Ssh! why is that?' She said: 'I see them by your side when life is generous to you, but in difficult times they stay away.' He replied; 'this is because of their good character. They come to visit us when we are able to welcome them, but do not want to increase our discomfort when we are unable to do so.'

One has to respect people's habits, interests and instincts and to remember that people are not angels or prophets. They are human beings who are inclined to make mistakes and commit sins. One has to look inside oneself to see and understand these weaknesses. Regarding this, Imaam Ash-Shaafi'ee said that there is no Muslim who obeys Allaah and never disobeys Him, nor is there anyone who disobeys Allaah and never obeys Him. Any Muslim whose obedience to Allaah is more than his disobedience will find himself in a safe position [on the Day of Judgement].

One should not make hasty judgements and disapprove of a person's action or belief, by only looking at the matter from one's own point of view. Instead, one should also look at and try to understand the other person's viewpoint on the matter, for one might be doing something with a good intention, believing that it is the right thing to do.

Advice should be given in private and not publicly. People don't want their imperfections be broadcast to others. A man is more willing to accept advice when it is given to him in private or indirectly. This is why Prophet Mohammed, salla Allaahu 'alayhe wasallam, whenever he was informed of some people's misdeeds, did not address them directly, nor mentioned their names in public, but he used to say: 'Why do some people do such and such', so that those concerned would understand that the advice was directed to them.

A man once said to 'Alee, radiya Allaahu 'anhu, in front of a mob: 'Oh, Ameer-ul Mu'mineen, verily, you were wrong in such and such a deed, and I advise you to do such and such.' 'Alee answered him: 'when you want to advise me, do so in private, for it is not safe [to guard against one's ego], neither for you nor for myself, if you advise me in front of people'.

Once the aforementioned points have been grasped and one feels it is one's duty to give advice, then one must do it with tenderness and wisdom and in a manner that does not provoke people or turn them away from listening.

Also, one must not take an elevated and boastful position when advising people nor give the impression of being a lecturer addressing ignorant people. Allaah, subhanahu wata'aala, directs us to such good manners;

"… and invite (mankind) to the way of your Lord with wisdom and fair preaching…"[An-Nahl: 125]

An advice devoid of kindness and tenderness is more likely to turn people away from you rather than open their hearts to accept and follow what is good for them.

In conclusion; offering advice to others is a duty upon all Muslims, but it should meet the aforementioned conditions if it is hoped to deliver the desired results. Whoever performs the duty of advising people in accordance with the teachings of the Qur'aan and the Sunnah, following the fine example of the Sahabah and the Salaf has indeed, observed his duty in preserving the Deen (religion).

So… are they sincere advisers, those who neglect the teachings of their Creator! Are they sincere advisers, those who choose to follow what others say instead of the Prophet's guidance? Are they sincere advisers, those who seek to spread wrongdoing amongst the believers and whose only concern is chasing after the shortcomings of others? Are they sincere advisers, those who seek to bring division and enmity among Muslims? Are they sincere advisers, those who shower praise and admiration in your presence, but speak differently behind your back?

Surely, such people are far away from being honest advisers. Their Eemaan has dispersed and they deserve punishment, which undoubtedly will befall them. Indeed, such people are deprived of noble manners, afflicted with wicked morals and they are but the real losers.

Finally, all the aforementioned about giving advice comes at a time when we are in a great need to understand its rules and comprehend the correct procedures to apply it. At a time when division and misunderstandings are splitting Muslims and causing them to hate each other, to criticise and doubt the sincerity of one another.

The above is directed to those who have taken criticism as a craft so that they may take heed and do not transgress beyond all bounds. Also, to those whose duty it is to advise others so that they may avoid suspicion and follow a wiser approach that will lead to the required results, insha Allaah.

Aboobacker Sidheek (Jun 10, 2001)

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