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Harming Your Child Unknowingly |
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Written by Aalam, Mohammed
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Thursday, 24 January 2008 |
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We may not want to, but we do make life difficult for our school going children. We hurt their self-esteem when we say "If Rahul and Leena can get good ranks, we can't you?” We hurt their emotions when we give them laptops but not our laps to sit upon. We take away their self-control when we tell then to hit back when somebody hurts them.
What happens to these kids with weakened emotional, mental and morale mind-set? They walk the path of suicide, violent behavior, drug abuse and extreme depression.
As parents and mentors, we have to act before it's too late. Start with these few insights. Based on observation and child psychology, they empower the kid’s mental and emotional make-up.
1. Don't insult your child ever. Choose your words very carefully even when he has done something wrong. For instance, don't say "You are a bad boy because you broke the flower vase". Say "Breaking things is bad". Address the problem. Not the person.
2. Comparing his performance in exams, learning and sports with his classmates, brothers, sisters or even yours, is a sure shot self-esteem damager. Instead compare him with his own past performance.
3. Never teach children to "hit back". Instead, teach them how to resolve a conflict.
4. Teach your kid that REAL FAILURE IS IN NOT TRYING. Teach them the famous quote "It doesn't matter how many times you have fallen. The only thing that matters is how many times you got up".
5. Don't use your child's rank, medals, or trophies to win prestige in society.
6. Remember... too much of threats, punishments and competition release stress hormones that harm your child's brain and emotional stability. So be very careful.
7. Every now and them, empower your child with the confidence that "I am with you, come what may". It helps them be more stable in the face of adversity.
8. Make sure your daily conversation is not limited only to school, marks and exams.
9. And yes, gifting them laptops and holidays is good. But being with them in their developing age is equally important.
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